TYPES OF NARCISSISTS & HOW TO SPOT THEM:
- Marisa McNamara, LPC
- Nov 10
- 9 min read
When you think of a narcissist, you might picture someone obsessed with their looks or bragging endlessly. But the truth is, narcissism isn't one-size-fits-all. There are actually several different types of narcissists, and some are much harder to recognize than others.
If you want to protect yourself from toxic relationships — in your personal life or workplace — it’s important to understand the key traits of each narcissistic type. Here’s your guide to the five main kinds of narcissists you may encounter.
What Is Narcissism?
Narcissism is generally defined as excessive self-involvement or self-focus. A narcissist is someone who consistently puts their own needs, image, and desires above others’.
It’s important to understand that narcissism exists on a spectrum. Everyone has some narcissistic traits — confidence, ambition, and self-interest can all be healthy in moderation. However, when these traits become extreme or inflexible, they can harm relationships and emotional well-being.
According to Dr. Craig Malkin, author of Rethinking Narcissism, not everyone who displays narcissistic behavior has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Likewise, not all narcissists are intentionally abusive. But the higher a person’s level of narcissism, the greater the risk of emotional manipulation or even physical and psychological abuse.
If you’re dealing with a narcissistic parent, partner, or family member, you may feel confused, invalidated, or “crazy-made.” Learning to recognize common narcissistic behaviors and patterns is the first step toward protecting yourself and beginning the healing process.
Note: The types of narcissism described below are not mutually exclusive. A person can display traits of more than one type, or move between types over time.
The 6 Main Types of Narcissism
Dr. Malkin explains that “all narcissists are addicted to feeling special — they just go about it in different ways.” His research identifies three primary types of narcissism: overt, covert, and communal.
1. Overt (Grandiose) Narcissism
Overt Narcissism — also called grandiose, classic, or extraverted narcissism — is the most recognizable form & what most people typically imagine a "narcissist" to be. People with overt narcissism often appear confident, bold, charming, & outgoing. However, beneath that charm lies a deep need for admiration and control. They often believe they are smarter, better, or more important than everyone else. Grandiose narcissists thrive on attention — and may lash out when they don’t get it. This type of narcissism has been tested and validated through research, often in contrast to covert narcissism, which will be discussed next. Overt narcissists can come across as charming and outgoing. They may also be well-liked by the public, or at least people that don’t know about narcissists and their possible two faces.
Common Traits of A Grandiose Narcissist:
Has a constant need to be praised, admired & validated to feed their false, unrealistic self-image & inflated ego
A sense of superiority and entitlement
Expects special treatment
Overestimates their abilities & intelligence
Boasts about achievements or status
Dominating conversations and dismissing others’ opinions
Asserts their dominance over others
Shows little to no empathy for others
Becomes angry or aggressive if someone disagrees with them or tries to set boundaries
Overt (Grandiose) Narcissistic Parents:
Overt narcissistic parents likely has a charming facade to the outside world. But when in private with their children, they’re cold, demanding, and invalidating. These types of narcissistic parents often use their child as a tool to further their own goals and needs. Because of how much they care about their image and reputation, overt narcissistic parents may:
Take credit for something their child achieved
Brag about their child’s accomplishments as if it’s their own
Shame or belittle their child if they feel threatened by their child’s success
Sabotage their child so their child cannot succeed and steal the spotlight
Only show love to their child if it benefits them
Withhold love from their child if their child doesn’t please or obey them
2. Covert (Vulnerable) Narcissism
Covert Narcissism — also called vulnerable, closet, or introverted narcissism — is more subtle and difficult to spot. They can seem introverted, insecure, or overly sensitive. It is considered the opposite of overt narcissism.
Unlike their overt countertypes, covert narcissists are typically more withdrawn and introverted with an avoidant attachment style. They appear shy, self-critical, or even victimized. They crave admiration but seek it indirectly, often through guilt, self-pity, or emotional manipulation. Beneath the surface, they harbor deep resentment and entitlement. Unlike grandiose narcissists, vulnerable narcissists manipulate through guilt and subtle emotional tactics.
Key Traits of Covert (Vulnerable) Narcissists Include:
Charismatic & charming & appears humble on the outside
Low self-esteem
Desires praise, recognition, validation & admiration so they can feel better about themselves
Demands reassurance without offering much in return
Feels envious of others’ success or relationships
Feels underappreciated & blames others for their unhappiness or lack of success
Loves to please strangers or acquaintances for validation, but is very neglectful or emotionally abusive to the loved ones closest to them
Plays the victim to gain sympathy and exhibits melodramatic behavior
Constant manipulative & passive-aggressive behaviors
Highly sensitive to body language, facial expressions, tones, and the reactions of others
Internalizes criticism or take it more harshly than intended
Gets very defensive from perceived criticisms
Has emotional outbursts in the face of perceived criticisms
Covert or Vulnerable Narcissistic Parents:
Covert narcissistic parents frequently depend on their child for emotional support, validation or caretaking. This is known as parentification, a form of emotional abuse.
Covert Narcissistic Parents Include Many of the Following:
Victim Mentality-
Constantly plays the victim, even in situations where the parent is at fault
Uses guilt as a control tactic, saying things like “After all I’ve done for you…”
Emotional Manipulation
Gaslights their child into doubting their perceptions.
Gives love conditionally and may withdraw affection to punish or control.
Passive-Aggression
Instead of direct confrontation, they use sarcasm, silent treatment, or backhanded compliments.
May sabotage the child’s confidence subtly through doubt or discouragement.
Low Empathy
Struggles to understand or validate their child’s emotions unless it reflects on them.
May dismiss, minimize, or invalidate their child's experiences or struggles
Hyper-Sensitivity to Criticism
Overreacts to even mild or constructive feedback.
May become sullen, withdraw, or retaliate if they feel “wounded” emotionally.
Enmeshment
Sees their child as an extension of themselves, not as a separate person.
May rely on the child for emotional support (parentification)
Chronic Insecurity and Need for Reassurance
Needs constant affirmation but can’t receive it directly—fishes for compliments or compares themselves to others.
May create emotional triangles to stay at the center of attention.
Guilt-Tripping and Emotional Blackmail
Uses subtle coercion like “You’ll regret this when I’m gone” to maintain control.
May suggest the child is selfish or ungrateful for asserting independence.
3. Communal Narcissist
A communal narcissist combines self-importance with a “helper” identity. These individuals view themselves as exceptionally kind, fair, and altruistic — and they want everyone to know it. They seek admiration not through success or looks, but by being seen as "the most helpful," "the kindest," or "the most moral." Though they may appear caring, communal narcissists are motivated by how they are perceived — not by genuine compassion.
Typical Traits of A Communal Narcissist:
Brags about charitable acts or selflessness
Sees themselves as generous, empathetic, and morally superior
Seeks recognition and praise for their good deeds & generosity
Tries to outdo others in displays of kindness
Uses their "good deeds" to manipulate or guilt others
Publicizes their acts of kindness or charity
Displays outrage over injustice — when it enhances their own image
Expects others to admire their selflessness
Communal Narcissistic Parents:
May seem like model caregivers in public, but their generosity often comes at their child’s expense. They may:
Focus on helping others while neglecting their child’s emotional needs
Criticize their child for expressing needs or boundaries
Demand admiration for being a “great parent”
Use their public image to invalidate their child’s experiences
4. Malignant Narcissist
Malignant narcissists are the most dangerous type. A malignant narcissist is a person who exhibits an extreme combination of what professionals are now calling "The Dark Triad"- Traits from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), antisocial behavior, paranoia, and sometimes sadism.
Unlike a typical narcissist who may just be self-absorbed or vain, a malignant narcissist can be emotionally, psychologically, and sometimes physically abusive. The malignant narcissist doesn’t just want to be admired—they want to dominate, punish, and destroy perceived enemies. Their actions are often harmful, calculated, and driven by a deep need for control, admiration, and dominance—regardless of the damage caused to others.
The term "Malignant Narcissist" was popularized by Dr. Sam Vaknin, the author of Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited.
**** If you suspect someone is a malignantnarcissist, protecting your emotional and physical safety should be your first priority. ****
Red Flags of Malignant Narcissist:
Grandiosity – Has an inflated sense of self-importance and superiority.
Superficial charm – Appears charismatic and likable on the surface, especially in public.
Lacks empathy – Cannot or refuses to understand or care about others' feelings.
Manipulativeness – Uses deceit, charm, or coercion to control others.
Exploitativeness – Takes advantage of others for personal gain without guilt.
Vindictiveness – Seeks revenge or retribution for perceived slights.
Pathological lying – Lies frequently, even when the truth would suffice.
Sadistic tendencies – Gains pleasure or satisfaction from others' pain or humiliation.
Gaslighting – Undermines others’ reality or perception to maintain control.
Entitlement – Believes they deserve special treatment and unquestioned compliance.
Paranoia – Harbors extreme distrust or suspicion of others' motives.
Aggression – Responds to criticism or frustration with hostility or rage.
Need for control – Demands power over others’ decisions, actions, or emotions.
Envy and jealousy – Feels threatened by others’ success or happiness.
Blame-shifting – Refuses to accept responsibility; always blames others.
Smear campaigning – Discredits or slanders others to protect their image.
Emotional cruelty – Uses guilt, shame, or degradation to harm others psychologically.
Intense need for admiration – Constantly craves praise, attention, or validation.
Hypersensitivity to criticism – Reacts poorly or aggressively to any perceived slight.
Lack of remorse – Shows no guilt or concern for the harm they cause.
Lies, manipulates, and gaslights
Enjoys harming or controlling others
Displays intense rage when challenged
Shows no remorse for bad behavior
Malignant Narcissistic Parent Traits:
A malignant narcissistic parent is especially harmful due to the combination of narcissistic traits, cruelty, and a need for control. Here are key characteristics they often display:
Conditional love – Affection is given only when the child meets their demands or enhances their image.
Triangulation – Pits siblings or family members against each other to maintain control and manipulate.
Emotional invalidation – Dismisses or mocks the child’s feelings, making them doubt their own emotions.
Gaslighting – Makes the child question their memory, perception, or sanity to maintain dominance.
Public perfection, private abuse – Acts like a perfect parent in public but is cruel or neglectful at home.
Enmeshment or neglect – Either overly intrusive and controlling, or distant and unresponsive—sometimes both.
Uses the child as a supply – Expects the child to constantly praise, admire, or serve them.
Jealousy or competition with the child – Especially common if the child becomes successful or independent.
Shaming and humiliation – Uses ridicule or public embarrassment to control or punish the child.
Blame and scapegoating – Makes the child responsible for family problems or the parent’s emotional state.
No boundaries – Violates privacy or autonomy, treating the child like an extension of themselves.
Control through guilt – Uses emotional blackmail like “after all I’ve done for you” to get compliance.
Inconsistent behavior – Alternates unpredictably between love-bombing and cruelty.
Fear-based parenting – Uses intimidation or threats to control rather than nurture.
Sabotages the child’s independence – Undermines efforts to grow, succeed, or move away.
Fails to protect – May ignore or enable abuse from others, or even join in.
Never apologizes – Refuses to admit wrongdoing, even when clearly in the wrong.
Takes credit for the child’s successes – Attributes achievements to their own parenting rather than the child’s efforts.
Emotionally unavailable – Cannot offer comfort or connection during times of need.
Uses the child as a weapon – Especially in divorce, custody battles, or to hurt the other parent.
5. Somatic Narcissist
Somatic narcissists focus heavily on their body, appearance, or physical abilities. Their sense of self-worth is tied directly to how attractive or fit they are. Somatic narcissists often use their appearance or sexuality as tools to gain admiration and control.
Typical Traits of A Somatic Narcissist:
Obsessed with looks, fitness, or fashion
Seeks constant sexual or physical validationBoasts about physical achievements
Treats others as objects for their own satisfaction
6. Antagonistic Narcissist
Antagonistic narcissism, also referred to as competitive narcissism, is a form of overt narcissism characterized by a strong emphasis on rivalry and dominance. This subtype contrasts with communal narcissism, which centers on perceived generosity and social contribution.
Individuals with antagonistic narcissism are often arrogant, combative, and highly competitive. They typically have:
Low trust in others
Frequently views people as threats or opponents.
Social interactions are often framed as opportunities to assert superiority, leading to frequent conflicts and power struggles.
Antagonistic Narcissistic Parent Traits:
As parents, antagonistic narcissists may
Engages in constant competition with their child.
Feels deeply threatened by their child’s talents, growth, or accomplishments, especially if they surpass their own.
Might be jealous of the child’s appearance, youth, relationships, or the attention the child receives—sometimes even from the other parent.
Downplays or one-up their child’s achievements, express envy, or even undermine their child’s success.
Reacts with jealousy when their child receives something positive, praise, gifts from someone, or attention.
Attempts to outdo their child, or spoil their child's special experiences entirely.
This dynamic can create a toxic environment rooted in competition rather than support.
Why It's Important to Recognize Different Types of Narcissists:
Not every person who displays selfish behavior is a narcissist, and not every narcissist looks the same. By learning the different types of narcissists, you can better spot toxic patterns before they harm your emotional health.If you find yourself tangled with a narcissist — whether grandiose, covert, malignant, communal, or somatic — the most powerful tools you can use are clear boundaries, strong self-esteem, and, when needed, professional support.
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