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TYPES OF NARCISSISTS:
Different Types of Narcissists
(And How to Spot Them)
When you think of a narcissist, you might picture someone obsessed with their looks or bragging endlessly. But the truth is, narcissism isn't one-size-fits-all. There are actually several different types of narcissists, and some are much harder to recognize than others.
If you want to protect yourself from toxic relationships — in your personal life or workplace — it’s important to understand the key traits of each narcissistic type. Here’s your guide to the five main kinds of narcissists you may encounter.
1. Grandiose (Overt) Narcissist
Grandiose narcissists are what most people typically imagine. They are confident, bold, and crave admiration. They often believe they are smarter, better, or more important than everyone else. Grandiose narcissists thrive on attention — and may lash out when they don’t get it. This type of narcissism has been tested and validated through research, often in contrast to covert narcissism, which will be discussed next. Overt narcissists can come across as charming and outgoing. They may also be well-liked by the public, or at least people that don’t know about narcissists and their possible two faces.
Common traits of a grandiose narcissist:
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Has a constant need to be praised, admired & validated to feed their false ego
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Becomes angry or aggressive if someone disagrees with them or tries to set boundaries
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Boasts about achievements or status
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Expects special treatment
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Shows little to no empathy for others
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Has an unrealistic sense of superiority
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Overestimates their abilities & intelligence
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Asserts their dominance over others
Grandiose or Overt Narcissistic Parents:
Overt narcissistic parents likely has a charming facade to the outside world. But when in private with their children, they’re cold, demanding, and invalidating. These types of narcissistic parents often use their child as a tool to further their own goals and needs.Because of how much they care about their image and reputation, overt narcissistic parents may:
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Takes credit for something their child achieved
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Brags about their child’s accomplishments as if it’s their own
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Shames or belittles their child if they feel threatened by their child’s success
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Sabotages their child so their child cannot succeed and steal the spotlight
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Only shows love to their child if it benefits them
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Withholds love from their child if their child doesn’t please or obey them
2. Vulnerable (or Covert) Narcissist
Vulnerable narcissists (also called covert narcissists) can seem introverted, insecure, or overly sensitive. Covert narcissism is also known as vulnerable, closet, introverted, insecure or overly sensitive narcissism. It is considered the opposite of overt narcissism.
Unlike their overt countertypes, covert narcissists are typically more withdrawn and introverted with an avoidant attachment style. Instead of demanding special treatment, they use more subtle or indirect ways to get it. Beneath the surface, they harbor deep resentment and entitlement. Unlike grandiose narcissists, vulnerable narcissists manipulate through guilt and subtle emotional tactics.
Key signs of a vulnerable narcissist:
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Charismatic & charming
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Appears humble on the outside
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Desires recognition and validation
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Feels envious of others
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Feels underappreciated
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Plays the victim to gain sympathy
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Constant manipulation
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Passive-aggressive behavior
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Internalizes criticism or take it more harshly than intended
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Craves praise and admiration so they can feel better about themselves
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Highly sensitive to body language, facial expressions, tones, and the reactions of others
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Gets very defensive from perceived criticisms
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Has emotional outbursts in the face of perceived criticisms
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Blames others for their lack of success
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Loves to please strangers or acquaintances for validation, but is very neglectful or emotionally abusive to the loved ones closest to them
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Demands reassurance without offering much in return
Covert or Vulnerable Narcissistic Parent Traits:
Covert narcissistic parents frequently depend on their child for emotional support and expect their child to take care of them. This is known as parentification, a form of emotional abuse. Covert Narcissistic Parents Include Many of the Following:
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Victim Mentality-
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Constantly plays the victim, even in situations where they are at fault
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Uses guilt as a control tactic, saying things like “After all I’ve done for you…”
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Emotional Manipulation
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Gaslights their child into doubting their perceptions.
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Gives love conditionally and may withdraw affection to punish or control.
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Passive-Aggression
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Instead of direct confrontation, they use sarcasm, silent treatment, or backhanded compliments.
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May sabotage the child’s confidence subtly through doubt or discouragement.
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Low Empathy
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Struggles to understand or validate their child’s emotions unless it reflects on them.
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May dismiss, minimize, or invalidate their child's experiences or struggles
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Hyper-Sensitivity to Criticism
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Overreacts to even mild or constructive feedback.
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May become sullen, withdraw, or retaliate if they feel “wounded” emotionally.
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Enmeshment
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Sees their child as an extension of themselves, not as a separate person.
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May rely on the child for emotional support (parentification)
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Chronic Insecurity and Need for Reassurance
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Needs constant affirmation but can’t receive it directly—fishes for compliments or compares themselves to others.
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May create emotional triangles to stay at the center of attention.
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Guilt-Tripping and Emotional Blackmail
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Uses subtle coercion like “You’ll regret this when I’m gone” to maintain control.
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May suggest the child is selfish or ungrateful for asserting independence.
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3. Malignant Narcissist
Malignant narcissists are the most dangerous type. A malignant narcissist is a person who exhibits an extreme combination of what professionals are now calling "The Dark Triad"- Traits from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), antisocial behavior, paranoia, and sometimes sadism.
Unlike a typical narcissist who may just be self-absorbed or vain, a malignant narcissist can be emotionally, psychologically, and sometimes physically abusive. The malignant narcissist doesn’t just want to be admired—they want to dominate, punish, and destroy perceived enemies. Their actions are often harmful, calculated, and driven by a deep need for control, admiration, and dominance—regardless of the damage caused to others.
The term "Malignant Narcissist" was popularized by Dr. Sam Vaknin, the author of Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited.
**** If you suspect someone is a malignantnarcissist, protecting your emotional and physical safety should be your first priority. ****
Red Flags of Malignant Narcissist:
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Grandiosity – Has an inflated sense of self-importance and superiority.
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Superficial charm – Appears charismatic and likable on the surface, especially in public.
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Lacks empathy – Cannot or refuses to understand or care about others' feelings.
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Manipulativeness – Uses deceit, charm, or coercion to control others.
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Exploitativeness – Takes advantage of others for personal gain without guilt.
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Vindictiveness – Seeks revenge or retribution for perceived slights.
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Pathological lying – Lies frequently, even when the truth would suffice.
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Sadistic tendencies – Gains pleasure or satisfaction from others' pain or humiliation.
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Gaslighting – Undermines others’ reality or perception to maintain control.
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Entitlement – Believes they deserve special treatment and unquestioned compliance.
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Paranoia – Harbors extreme distrust or suspicion of others' motives.
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Aggression – Responds to criticism or frustration with hostility or rage.
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Need for control – Demands power over others’ decisions, actions, or emotions.
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Envy and jealousy – Feels threatened by others’ success or happiness.
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Blame-shifting – Refuses to accept responsibility; always blames others.
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Smear campaigning – Discredits or slanders others to protect their image.
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Emotional cruelty – Uses guilt, shame, or degradation to harm others psychologically.
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Intense need for admiration – Constantly craves praise, attention, or validation.
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Hypersensitivity to criticism – Reacts poorly or aggressively to any perceived slight.
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Lack of remorse – Shows no guilt or concern for the harm they cause.
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Lies, manipulates, and gaslights
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Enjoys harming or controlling others
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Displays intense rage when challenged
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Shows no remorse for bad behavior
Malignant Narcissistic Parent Traits:
A malignant narcissistic parent is especially harmful due to the combination of narcissistic traits, cruelty, and a need for control. Here are key characteristics they often display:
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Conditional love – Affection is given only when the child meets their demands or enhances their image.
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Triangulation – Pits siblings or family members against each other to maintain control and manipulate.
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Emotional invalidation – Dismisses or mocks the child’s feelings, making them doubt their own emotions.
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Gaslighting – Makes the child question their memory, perception, or sanity to maintain dominance.
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Public perfection, private abuse – Acts like a perfect parent in public but is cruel or neglectful at home.
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Enmeshment or neglect – Either overly intrusive and controlling, or distant and unresponsive—sometimes both.
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Uses the child as a supply – Expects the child to constantly praise, admire, or serve them.
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Jealousy or competition with the child – Especially common if the child becomes successful or independent.
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Shaming and humiliation – Uses ridicule or public embarrassment to control or punish the child.
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Blame and scapegoating – Makes the child responsible for family problems or the parent’s emotional state.
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No boundaries – Violates privacy or autonomy, treating the child like an extension of themselves.
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Control through guilt – Uses emotional blackmail like “after all I’ve done for you” to get compliance.
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Inconsistent behavior – Alternates unpredictably between love-bombing and cruelty.
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Fear-based parenting – Uses intimidation or threats to control rather than nurture.
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Sabotages the child’s independence – Undermines efforts to grow, succeed, or move away.
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Fails to protect – May ignore or enable abuse from others, or even join in.
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Never apologizes – Refuses to admit wrongdoing, even when clearly in the wrong.
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Takes credit for the child’s successes – Attributes achievements to their own parenting rather than the child’s efforts.
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Emotionally unavailable – Cannot offer comfort or connection during times of need.
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Uses the child as a weapon – Especially in divorce, custody battles, or to hurt the other parent.
DIVORCING A MALIGNANT NARCISSIST:
Divorcing a malignant narcissist or a psychopath is like no other divorce. A malignant narcissists wants to win at any cost, even if it damages their children in the process.
If you are divorcing a malignant narcissist, it is important to have a strong support system and possibly seek a therapist to help you through the process. Below, are some of the common tactics used by a malignant narcissist during a divorce:
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Smear Campaigns Against Their Ex- Malignant narcissists often spread lies and damaging rumors to ruin their ex’s reputation.
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Parental Alienation- They may manipulate the children to turn against the other parent out of revenge or control.
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False Accusations- Expect baseless claims of abuse, neglect, or unfitness to gain leverage in custody or court.
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Dragging Out Legal Proceedings- They intentionally delay or complicate the divorce to exhaust the ex emotionally and financially.
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Refusing to Cooperate- Malignant narcissists often stonewall or ignore court orders just to exert dominance.
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Using the Children as Pawns- They’ll involve kids in adult issues or use them to manipulate the other parent’s emotions.
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Weaponizing Finances- They may hide assets, cut off support, or create financial chaos to punish their ex.
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Feigning Victimhood- They present themselves as the innocent party to gain sympathy from others and discredit their ex.
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Threats and Intimidation- From legal threats to personal attacks, they use fear to control and destabilize.
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Gaslighting the Ex-Spouse- They deny past abuse, twist facts, and rewrite history to cause confusion and self-doubt.
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Sudden Love-Bombing- Sometimes they’ll briefly act charming or apologetic—only to manipulate and regain control.
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Sabotaging Co-Parenting- They violate boundaries, ignore agreements, or use parenting time to antagonize their ex.
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Manipulating Mutual Friends and Family- They often recruit allies to isolate or discredit the other partner.
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Over-Litigation- They file unnecessary motions or legal actions as a form of harassment.
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Extreme Need for Control- Even post-separation, they attempt to control the ex’s decisions, lifestyle, or relationships.
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Cyberstalking or Harassment- They may stalk social media, send threatening messages, or use digital means to intimidate.
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Exploiting Legal Loopholes- Malignant narcissists often use gray areas in the law to exploit or manipulate outcomes.
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Lack of Remorse or Empathy- They show no guilt for the emotional damage caused—only focus on their own perceived injuries.
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Turning the Courtroom Into a Stage- They perform for judges and attorneys, appearing polished while hiding abusive behavior.
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Relentless Obsession with “Winning”- For them, divorce isn’t about resolution—it’s a battle they must “win” at any cost.
**Our therapists have experience in dealing with malignant narcissism. Contact our office today if you are needing help or guidance!!**
4. Communal Narcissist
Communal narcissists seek admiration not through success or looks, but by being seen as "the most helpful," "the kindest," or "the most moral." Though they may appear caring, communal narcissists are motivated by how they are perceived — not by genuine compassion.
How to spot a communal narcissist:
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Brags about charitable acts or selflessness
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Demands recognition for their generosity
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Tries to outdo others in displays of kindness
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Uses their "good deeds" to manipulate or guilt others
5. Somatic Narcissist
Somatic narcissists focus heavily on their body, appearance, or physical abilities. Their sense of self-worth is tied directly to how attractive or fit they are. Somatic narcissists often use their appearance or sexuality as tools to gain admiration and control.
Typical traits of a somatic narcissist:
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Obsessed with looks, fitness, or fashion
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Seeks constant sexual or physical validationBoasts about physical achievements
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Treats others as objects for their own satisfaction
6. Antagonistic Narcissist
Antagonistic narcissism, also referred to as competitive narcissism, is a form of overt narcissism characterized by a strong emphasis on rivalry and dominance. This subtype contrasts with communal narcissism, which centers on perceived generosity and social contribution.
Individuals with antagonistic narcissism are often arrogant, combative, and highly competitive. They typically have low trust in others, frequently viewing people as threats or opponents. Social interactions are often framed as opportunities to assert superiority, leading to frequent conflicts and power struggles.
As parents, antagonistic narcissists may engage in constant competition with their child. They may downplay or one-up their child’s achievements, express envy, or even undermine their child’s success. If a child receives something positive—such as praise, gifts, or attention—the narcissistic parent may react with jealousy, attempt to outdo them, or spoil the experience entirely.
These parents can feel deeply threatened by their child’s talents, growth, or accomplishments, especially if they surpass their own. In response, they might sabotage the child’s efforts, set them up to fail, or use intimidation to discourage further success.
Their jealousy may extend beyond achievements to include the child’s appearance, youth, relationships, or the attention the child receives—sometimes even from the other parent. This dynamic can create a toxic environment rooted in competition rather than support.
Why It's Important to Recognize Different Types of Narcissists:
Not every person who displays selfish behavior is a narcissist, and not every narcissist looks the same. By learning the different types of narcissists, you can better spot toxic patterns before they harm your emotional health.If you find yourself tangled with a narcissist — whether grandiose, covert, malignant, communal, or somatic — the most powerful tools you can use are clear boundaries, strong self-esteem, and, when needed, professional support.